Child Abuse Must Stop - In Remembrance of Dominick Calhoun and those children who died in 2010, a needless death.

April 12, 2011 marks the 1st Anniversary of the death of Dominick Calhoun. Who is Dominick Calhoun you ask? Why is this writer taking time out of her busy schedule to write about him?

He has touched my heart in a way that I can only try to explain. His eyes were the biggest bluest eyes that are very similar to my Grandson of the same age. Maybe that is what it is. Maybe it’s the carefree way his blond hair set upon his head. Maybe it is because we are from the same state. Maybe it was just the fact that he was 4 years old and died a needless death. Whatever the reason, I feel that I need to somehow, someway remember this little boy.

UPDATE - The information regarding this Hub has come from the various news reports surrounding this case.

The end of Dominick’s life began on April 8th, 2010, he finally could take no more and succumbed, surrendering his life on April 12, 2010.  After his unconscious body was discovered by his maternal Grand father, an ambulance was called.  The Doctors could do nothing to save Dominick.

He wet his pants on accident, while eating breakfast.  That was his death sentence.  That was this offense that was so great Dominick’s life became forfeit.  It wasn’t a quick and painless death, no, he was given 3 days of torture for this offense.  3 days of being dragged out of his room and beaten by a monster.  The monster was his mother’s boyfriend, it reality the monster was also his mother.  His 8 year old brother had to witness this torture and not be able to lift a finger to help, he was afraid he would get in trouble as well.  After all they were both small.

The boys had been removed from the custody of their mother on several occasions, only to be sent back. They were back with their mother this time for only 11 days. The State wants to believe that the Mother is the best person for the child to live with. In this case, it was obviously not the best solution.

In all fairness I must insert here that the mother was also beaten, with chunks of her hair being torn out in the process. She also gave testimony to the police and prosecutors all the things that were said and done to her son during his days of torture. She is also being tried in this case for 2nd degree murder, because she didn’t do anything, didn’t call out to anyone, didn‘t leave.

Had an ambulance been called after the first beating Dominick may have survived. Quite possibly after the second beating as well. By the time he did receive medical care his brain had begun swelling to the point that medical personnel had to remove part of his skull, to allow for swelling. His eyes had been gouged, his genitals had been kicked mercilessly by a booted foot and his head had been beaten severely. There were also unexplained burn marks on him.

You might ask at this point, “Were there drugs involved”?  Yes there were, this was a drug house.  The Monsters sold drugs.  Probably to support their habits.  “Do all drug dealers beat their children?” Probably not, but drugs do impair the judgment of a person, so it’s safe to say that without the drugs this probably would not have happened.  The mother would have had better control of her faculties and would have gotten her children safely away.  The man, at this point is still the accused (I really hate when you have a dead body and bloody knuckles along with witnesses they are still only the accused), is known to be Schizophrenic.  If he had not been on drugs (non prescription) he might not have committed this horrendous act.  So yes, drugs were a factor.

The community has now bonded together to set aside a small space for the memory of Dominick Calhoun to be remembered. They have also written a Bill they hope to get passed for the State called ‘Dominick’s Law‘. They realize that they can’t bring Dominick back, but maybe they can save another child’s life with this Bill. It is in regards to mandatory sentencing for abusers. You see the Monster had been charged with previous abuse, not on Dominick, but someone else.

The family lived in an apartment dwelling.  The neighbors now claim they heard little Dominick’s head being smashed into the walls.  They heard the screams.  At what point did it go unnoticed?  When he became unconscious?  When he could no longer scream for his life?  Why would I bring this up?  Because at some point we, as a whole, need to take responsibility for what we see or hear.  Have you ever been in a store shopping and seen a child being smacked for crying?  Then told not to cry?  What did you do?  Walk away in disgust?  Yell at the smacking parent?  When you saw the frustrated parent did you stop and talk to the child to make him or her smile again?  Just to give the parent a moments peace.  Or did you make a rude comment regarding bringing a tired child to the store?

I am not suggesting that we all run out to our local CPS (Child protective Services) and report every little incident.  What I am suggesting is this; When you see a frustrated parent, do not assume you know what is going on in their life.  Do not assume that things like raising children are as easy for them as it is/was for you.  Take a minute, talk to the parent, talk to the child.  Make them smile, help defray a situation that could escalate into something more.  Do not be rude to the parent, that will only cause them to take their frustrations out on the child at a later time.  Usually smiling at the child and talking to them will cause them to stop their behavior and pay attention to what you are saying, even if only for a moment.  

Not all parents have the luxury to walk away from their cart to come back at a later time. 

Not all parents have the luxury of having someone watch their child while they go shopping.

Not all parents have the luxury of tossing anything in the cart, most have to watch how much they spend.

Not all parents have been taught how to be a good parent.

Am I excusing the behavior of The Monster?  Absolutely not.  Would any of these things helped save Dominick’s life?  Maybe, when the neighbors heard his head banging into the walls.  Just one little thing that you do or do not do in this life can cause a chain reaction for good or bad.
 
Child Abuse must stop.  No way around it.  We have to be the ones to stop it.  Help educate your young neighbors, your children, your family members, your friends.  Give them a hand whenever you can.  Buy a pack of diapers, a can of formula, give them a few hours of peace and quiet by babysitting.  Helping in these small ways can ease some frustrations as a parent, in turn helping the life of a child.  After all, we’re in this together.  

Am I suggesting that spending your hard earned money will stop child abuse?  No, but what I am suggesting is that the parents will be aware that eyes are watching.  They will be aware that they are noticed.  Their actions will be accounted for, if one stranger pay attention, how many others will?

We can get angry all we want at the injustices of the deaths of children, but if we do nothing about it, have their deaths been in vain?